Heavy Menstrual Bleeding: When is it Too Much?

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All menstrual periods contain blood, along with uterine lining, mucus and other tissues that are shed from the uterus when a pregnancy doesn't occur.  As women, we often just normalize whatever we see when we change pads or tampons, but how do you really know if what you're losing constitutes "normal" or "emergency"?  

Here are some things to watch for to know if your flow is too heavy:

• You are soaking through your pad and/or tampon within 30-60 minutes. This is even worse if you're wearing the Super Plus absorbency.
• The blood is bright red and quite watery - this can indicate that it's direct from an artery in your uterus, and is often caused by a leaking fibroid.
• You cannot wear a pad without a tampon and vice versa. Too much flow otherwise.
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• Sheets and PJs are stained when you wake up in the morning, even while wearing double protection.
• You've used an adult diaper at least once in your life, due to your flow.
• It's difficult to use a menstrual cup because there's just too much blood flow. 
• The toilet paper is soaked red with blood just from having a quick pee, and the toilet water is red, brown or orange with blood. 
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• And most importantly: You've had to go to the ER because of these symptoms:  Dizziness, chest pains, shortness of breath, shaking/feeling chills, blurred vision, confusion, lightheadedness and/or headache. 

The above has happened to me, and sadly many women bleed much too heavily (a condition called Menorrhagia) which can lead to serious health concerns - most commonly, anemia (low iron in the blood which reeks havoc on the health).  This can be caused by a number of factors, most commonly either endometriosis or fibroids.  No matter the cause, you will require medical intervention and cannot leave heavy bleeding untreated! 

What Women Want Men to Know About Periods

First of all, we want you to know what, specifically, a period actually is: Menstruation comes from the uterus, not the bladder (Yes there are some younger males who have thought this). 

•  It's not something we can consciously control, like peeing. It trickles out whether we want it to or not, and we're sorry (not sorry) if our needing to hit the washroom more often because of it, annoys you. 

•  It's caused by varying levels of hormones, which are responsible for creating a lining in our uterus in case you get us pregnant.  That lining lasts for several days, and then sort of "spoils" and begins to shed, so a fresh, new lining can grow in it's place.  It's this lining that comes out of us... and it's a mix of blood and other soft tissue and fluid.  BTW, it's harmless to you if you ever touch it. 

• They're not always painful, but when they are, the pain is real and we're not exaggerating!  The closest way to describe it is how you feel after getting a hit to the testicles, and this pain can cause fever and even vomiting sometimes...the pain is real!

• We can be more in the mood for sex during this time, due to hormone fluctuations...and honestly wish you wouldn't be so grossed out by our menstrual fluid. It won't hurt you, and if you're worried about something like AIDS, you can use a condom for peace of mind.  **Bonus: Having an orgasm can help relieve our cramps!

• We wish you'd ask us more questions about it, so we can bond on a deeper level (especially for long-time spouses). Most of us are fairly comfortable discussing our periods.

• If we're cranky around you during this time, it's partly hormones, but also a reaction to being in strong pain.  It's normal to be snappy when in pain and you would be the same way.

• Sometimes we're low energy or "slow" to get something. Please give us a break - our brains & bodies are losing vital nutrients from blood loss. For this reason, food cravings are real, too (sweets for upping low blood sugar).

• Please don't mock us for menstruating, like joking to your buddies that "she's on the rag again!"  That's period-shaming, and it's derogatory.  We're whole human entities and having the ability to menstruate is just one of many aspects of that... it doesn't define us. 

• Also, please don't get scared and try to avoid us during that week... Yes we can be a tad moody, but that can be resolved with a loving cuddle and a small surprise gift ("no honey, I'll do the laundry tonight").

• No two periods are exactly alike, regardless of what media often implies. Your lady night have hers every few months, twice a month, or for weeks at a time.  Being on birth control, or having health problems, can cause irregular periods. Please don't compare hers to that of a relative or former girlfriend... we're all unique beings :)

If you're married or in a long-term partnership with us, try to learn specific details about our periods, such as: 

• When to expect it 
• How long it typically lasts 
• What we prefer for pads/tampons/cups
• Specific food we crave
• What pain relief we tend to use

This can make the bond between us stronger... and help you appreciate all aspects of us. 

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Ladies, I am always happy to "take requests" and update this article with anything that you'd like to add to the list, so your man can have a deeper appreciation for what you go through each month, or every few months, or twice a month, or however your period is for you.   

Super Absorbency Pads and Tampons

 That embarrassing - but necessary - trip to Costco. 

If you have a menstrual bleeding disorder, then you know what it's like to need these giant value packs.

In fact, my husband & I have made it a hobby of sorts to track sales in flyers and "clean house" when they're on sale (currently, our laundry room is loaded with them). 

When I was in my teens, my mother taught me how to track periods on the calendar by tracking & marking the days. This works for a typical 28-day cycle... but these past couple of years, my cycles have become anything but typical.  I still mark the "due date" on the calendar and then begin wearing pads about a week out, since on numerous occasions Aunt Flo has crashed the party by showing up early. 

I'll admit, I envy women with normal cycles (and normal flow!) - you ladies sure save a lot of money!  And, though I'm not super looking forward to having a surgery, I am looking forward to the day when I no longer need these and will donate my remaining supply to the local Food Bank, and then will save so much $$$ going forward!

Remember: Just like they say in the commercial - if your tampon leaks, go up a size. If it hurts to remove it, go down a size.  Same for pads - if it's soaked through or leaking, go up an absorbency level (and always get wings). If it's mostly dry or feels like wearing a diaper, then go down a level.  Remember that they are color-coded for your convenience. 

Strange Bleeding and Another Follow Up

Hello lovely ladies (and others here), 

It's now July 8 and I haven't been keeping up regularly with this blog as much as I'd like to.  It's been quite busy at work (customer service desk at a hardware store during the Summer).  Anyway, in late May I made a follow up post for you.

I had all-but bragged that my last period was relatively short and pain-free, but now I'm back to a point of on again/off again spotting, as well as near-constant lower abdominal cramps.  As noted, these tend to get worse when I'm under emotional stress, so I try to relax and take it easy as much as possible, and turn to journaling when I simply have waaaay too much on my mind! 

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So now I'm having another issue... and I don't know what to make of it.  For the past about 5 days I've been spotting (which I've gotten used to), but now there appears to be a bit of blood that leaks out from my urethra.... it scares me to death to have to go to a doctor and have them examine me, since I don't want anything being put in there (the thin tube above the vaginal opening, where urine and female ejaculate come out of).  I imagine it would be quite painful and lead to a nasty infection... and I finally confessed - very embarrassed - last night to my husband about it, and he said we should see a doctor since I have today off work. 

However, my period this month was due in only 3 days, and seems to have gone ahead & started... so maybe this is a blessing in disguise? I can pray and hope that the urethral bleeding will clear up on it's own, or better yet - that I just imagined it or was mistaken.  

Either way, I know I will eventually need to go back to a doctor, now that the Covid-19 situation is lifting and hospitals and doctor's offices are letting in limited amounts of people with masks and appointments... 

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In the meantime, I am looking forward to buying more maternity jeans like these ones here

**This blog is intended to share a personal journey with an intimate issue, and readers are strongly encouraged to open up and share personal issues too. This is intended to be a safe space for you. A place to relate and realize you're not alone.

Belly Bloat and COVID-19 Stress

This is a photo of my belly, in my new "maternity" jeans. It's bloated because of having a distended uterus caused by ever-growing fibroids.  I've been asked already if we're expecting, and we're not.

 This explains why I was never able to "flatten" my tummy with abdominal crunches...

Anyway, prior to learning I have fibroids, I always thought it looked strange when staring at it from above - whether that be in the bathtub, half sitting up in bed, or just sitting around in general.  I look at it a lot from the side in mirrors, as well.  When I tell someone I feel bloated, they almost always skinny-shame me and make the moment awkward.


Here are more images of these comfy new jeans (I plan on getting more later when I can afford to, and when it's safe to shop again:

 

I really love how the band just hugs my bloated belly (swollen uterus), but it isn't tight!  I am looking forward to eventually replacing the jeans with buttons... with these beauties 😍 

On COVID-19-induced Stress:

It's no secret that fibroids have blood vessels of their own (which is why the periods can be so damn heavy!), and it's no secret that emotional stress increases blood pressure, which in turn, increases bleeding.  Thankfully, prior to this period, it's been months since my last "outburst" in the summer of 2019.  But since this coronavirus has spread, and all the news sources, social media, and basically the entire world have been putting out warnings about it, I've been getting increasingly worried.  Believe it or not, it's not the thought of being sick that frightens me. It's the way the world as we know it is shutting down, and frankly, I'm frightened for the economic future.  My shifts are being drastically cut at work, and I dread the thought of possibly having our home put into foreclosure if we cannot afford the mortgage.  My husband is a fast food manager and right now, it's basically drive-thru only, so he is coming home early. I am happy to see him of course, but it seems soon, neither of us may be going to work for awhile.. and will need to apply for a government grant to help out.  These thoughts increase my bleeding, and I've been having my current period for about 8 days now... and was spotting lightly before that.  I've been taking my iron supplements to the best of my ability, since right now, it's not as easy to go to the doctor about symptoms.

I was ironically told by a friend, recently, that now everyone's nearly out of work, I should go ahead and have a hysterectomy.  As tempting as that it, right now, hospitals cannot really cater to non-emergencies.  It's just not safe right now to bring in potential germs where there are very sick patients, plus the staff & resources are currently focusing on this virus.  I respect that.

Thankfully, I haven't been overexerting myself recently (with my shifts so aggressively cut), so I'm mostly taking it easy at home.  The bleeding seems to be slowing down today, so that's a good sign.  And I'll take another iron supplement with lunch today.

In the meantime, it's important right now that we:

• Listen to our government officials - and heed their advice!
• Only go out for things we need, like extra food & medication.
• Practice social distancing, but in the most respectful way possible.
• Keep ourselves and our hands and surfaces we touch, clean.
• This means please do not cough or sneeze on your hands. Please use your inner elbow.
• Bow rather than hug or shake hands... it's been an alternate sign of respect for centuries.
• Reach out to loved ones and neighbors over the phone, and offer services.
• Distance ourselves from the sick and from the vulnerable.
• Keep a positive mindset and share the love 💗

Period Advice For Teen Girls

When a young girl starts her period, she may be given the "birds & bees" run down of why it happens, but there's a lot more to menstruation than just suddenly being able to have babies.


If you are a teenage girl, then this post is written for you. Whether or not you've begun your period, there are some things you need to know.  First of all, I hope you have the okay from your parents, in case there's still stuff they haven't told you.
At the same time, some parents are really uneasy about these kinds of talks and may not feel comfortable sharing everything that you have a right to know about your own body.


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Cramps

• I'm sorry to say this, but you will have pain in your lower belly, back, vagina (yes it can happen), and sometimes thighs.
• They vary for every female, but some can be extreme enough to cause chills, fever and even digestive disturbances - you may get nauseated & feel like throwing up.
• Thankfully, there's a variety of pain relief options. If you do NOT have a heavy flow (if you're not filling a pad or tampon in an hour), you can use a heating pad or even a stick-on heat relief patch, which rests on your skin for up to 8 hours.
• If you are producing a large amount of fluid, then opt for medicinal relief (no heat), with Tylenol, Midol, Aleve, Advil or whatever you find works the best! Personally, I find Aleve works very well. 
• Don't be embarrassed to ask your doctor about pain relief options - extreme cramps (like ones that make you miss school) can be a sign of something more serious (see next section).
• Stay hydrated, well-rested and get light exercise, as all of that can help ease your cramps. Also make sure to eat healthy and limit stress.

Menstrual Disorders

• As said above, sometimes cramps can be a sign of something more serious. If your periods are very painful, ask to make an appointment with your doctor.  Remember - if you have strict parents, you can also go to a local clinic and most of them will respect your privacy and not "report" your visit to your parents.Your body is your own.
• Even though you are young and having your first periods, your cramps may be caused by a condition called endometriosis, which is when the lining of your uterus (what sheds during your period), may have ended up forming on surrounding organs outside of your uterus.
• Strange as it sounds, you might also be beginning to develop fibroids - they are NOT cancerous, but they are small tumors that develop within the uterus and can cause a lot of pain and heavy bleeding. Left untreated, the bleeding can lead to anemia (an iron deficiency). 
• If you are 15 years of age or older, and haven't begun your period yet, it is worth getting that checked out by a doctor to make sure everything is okay. 

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Menstrual Flow (the actual period)

• Even if you do not have any menstrual disorders, you will notice that menstrual fluid & 'flow' is different for everyone. It can even differ vastly for you each month, especially as your body establishes it's own rhythm. 
• As you begin, your flow may be fairly light the first few times. You may also find the first 2-3 days of your period seem heavy, but it will (should) taper off and slow down as you get to the last day.
• BTW, though it's often red blood you see, your menstrual fluid is also made of endometrial tissue (lining of your uterus that forms each month), cervical and vaginal mucus. You may sometimes feel & see 'chunks' in it, which can just be blood clots or tissue, and nothing to worry about. 
• Your mother may not have told you what it "feels like" to menstruate; that is, the sensation of blood leaving through your vagina.  Well, it's not like peeing - it does not come from your urethra. There's no way to contract your muscles & stop the flow.  However, it often just trickles out - similar to the speed and consistency of a nose bleed (did you also think of El from Stranger Things?)
• If you have a heavier flow, it will sometimes feel more like "gushing" - just for a few seconds at a time, not continuously. When you awake and sit up in the morning, you will often feel a gush of fluid leave your vagina, and likely in your bum crack.  Funny as it may sound, menstrual fluid often finds it's way into your bum and this may occasionally lead to an embarrassing stain on the back of your pants if you've been sitting. 
• This can be alleviated if you're comfortable wearing tampons. If your flow is heavy already, try wearing tampons and pads together. Remember to change them every 4 hours or so, since Toxic Shock Syndrome, though rare, is a serious possibility. 
• If your flow is light, you only need to wear pads, unless you're planning to go swimming. Yes, you can safely wear tampons for swimming or having baths. Just be careful to not go into overly hot water if your flow is heavy, as heat can increase it. 
• You'll be happy to know that, as confusing as the feminine hygiene aisle looks, that the items are color-coded based on your needs. 
• Yellow means regular flow. 
• Purple means light flow.
• Green means super flow.
• Orange means super+ (the maximum). 
• You can buy "overnight" pads which offer more coverage, and pads with wings, which help prevent embarrassing leaks.  
• Another thing to note about your flow, is that it can sometimes come out in colors other than red. If it is brown, that often just means that blood has been in your vagina for awhile and oxygen has gotten to it. If it is light/pink, it's got more mucus than blood in it. Any time you feel concerned about whether it's normal, talk to your doctor.  At your age, you should already be seeing a gynecologist.  

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PMS symptoms

• Some people - especially boys - may tease you about "having PMS" to imply that you're acting overly hormonal. However, Premenstrual Syndrome (the week or so leading up to each period) can affect you in many ways, not just mood.
• You may be bloated and starting to cramp already, as your uterus prepares to shed it's lining. 
• You may also be feeling emotionally-sensitive, such as crying more easily, and feeling angry or at least more easily annoyed.  This is all normal. 
• Food cravings may occur, especially sweet food, and meaty food (high in iron). Try to eat lots of fruit & veggies when possible, and try to limit beverages like pop (soda). If you eat meat, try to get seafood and poultry in higher amounts during this time. 
• Also, keep yourself hydrated - your body will be losing fluid for a week.
• Your breasts will feel swollen & painful during PMS. This is normal and often goes away about halfway through your period. 
• It's possible you may feel nauseated, gassy, constipated, having diarrhea, or frequent urination during this week. It's caused by both hormonal changes and pressure on your other organs from an expanding uterus. 
• You may also suddenly feel very sleepy and want to nap. This is normal and if you have time after school, by all means, get some extra rest. Your body will thank you.

Don't let all of the above information overwhelm you - just come back to this post any time you want to re-read something.  You're a woman now, and you can expect to menstruate for *approximately 35 years (*it varies for everyone) before you come to menopause.

You can always ask your mother, aunt, other trusted relative, your family doctor, or even a friend's mother when you have any questions. Remember that having a period is NOT shameful and you should never feel embarrassed to talk about it.

A Little Easter Egg About Cramps

Have you ever had excruciating cramps, where you've decided to stay in bed, maybe laying on your side with a heating pad?

Image from qoctor.com.au and may be subject to copyright

That seems like a really good idea... it allows you to rest, keeps you off your feet, and you can just focus on breathing...

But did you know: menstrual fluid (blood, mucus and other lining from the uterus) is made to leave the body, not only from cramping, but also from gravity?  It's simple and definitely makes you want to roll your eyes and say, "Well, duh!"  

Obviously, as soon as you sit up in bed in the morning, you can feel "the gush" - you may even notice your sheets have been soiled!

Anyway, this is relevant information because, if you're in an inverted position during your cramps, the abdominal muscles around your uterus will actually work harder (stronger cramps!) to push more blood out of your body - ouch!

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So how can you fix this? 

Well, personally, this took me a long, long time to figure out on my own.  My first instinct when my cramps got intense, was to lie down in bed, plug in the heating pad and watch TV.  Yeah sure it would give some very mild relief - but the cramps were still there. Sometimes I could be laying like that, still cramping, for upward of 4 hours... my husband questioned me, and said that whenever we were out & about together during my time of the month, I didn't complain about the intensity of my pain as much as when I was laying down.  He actually made sense - my cramps truly did feel worse when I wasn't upright! 

After some research about the cause of menstrual cramps (and alternative relief, such as yoga), I was enlightened to find out that when we're in a position where our menstrual fluid cannot just "flow out" onto the pad (or, into the Diva Cup, etc.) with gravity, we will feel more intense cramping. Which means we, as women, have power to change that 😍


Next time you're tempted to lay back down in bed, or on the couch (c-ouch), challenge yourself to get up and walk around your home for just 10 minutes.  If you can handle that okay, try for 20 minutes.  If you think you can do it, go outside for a brief walk around the block... you may be surprised to find that light physical activity is better for the muscles around your uterus, than laying down.  It's totally okay if you don't believe me... after all, I'm not trying to sound preachy.  I only suggest that you try this and compare how you feel. 

If you're worried about bad cramps keeping (or waking!) you up, take a pain relief medicine about 30 minutes before sleeping.

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Caveat:  If you find your cramps are so intense that they interfere with your ability to complete daily tasks, going to work, if they cause you a fever, chills, or nausea/vomiting, then you should seek prompt medical advice!  It's never a bad idea to visit an ER if you're in too much pain to stand straight or do a simple task like take a shower or do light housework.  If it turns out you have something like endometriosis (lining on the outside of your uterus), it would be a relief to start getting that condition treated.