This time last year...

 Wow.  It's already been over a year since I first got diagnosed with fibroids... 

I remember feeling horrified, relieved, and partly expecting it, as fibroids do run in my family and both my mother and grandmother have had hysterectomies due to them. 

It was within the first week of September that I sat in the doctor's office, already suspecting something serious, going by his tone. Especially since he tried calling me shortly after the ultrasound I had prior.  After he told me, we discussed possible treatment options... I had a lump in my throat, as I was on the verge of tears, but trying to sound strong I casually suggested birth control pills to slow down the bleeding... he thought about it, but said that would make the bleeding even heavier.  He strongly suggested a hysterectomy was best, especially since my "main" fibroid seems to take up almost half my uterus... did at the time in 2019, I don't know about now...

I thanked him for his time, and went on my way for a light lunch to the Dairy Queen across the street... I was in such a daze, that I accidentally bit off a small part of the tip of my tongue (ouch!) while eating... to this day, the tip of my tongue is misshapen from it.  I still felt like crying, and a lot of thoughts were going through my head... I was trying to come up with the right words to tell my husband that I'd need this surgery... and confirmed forever that we won't be having any babies. 

 I took a ruler and drew, as per what the measurements were in the ultrasound findings, my womb and the fibroids' size in relation. The biggest one seems to be the main culprit for the cramping pain and the heavy bleeding... it was 2.5 cm wide at the time, and a year later, probably bigger! 

So, though I know it's very important to get these removed for my health (to stop being anemic, to reduce the risk of fatal hemorrhaging, to improve quality of life with no cramps, etc.) it seemed that everything was happening to impede the ability to have surgery at the time...

• I was in the process of leaving one job and beginning another (this blog started on September 28, which is the same day I left my job at Old Navy after 7 years). 
• We had family trips coming up, pre-booked long in advance so I wasn't able to be recovering at the same time...
• After the trips, I was going to try again to book a surgery, but the Covid19 pandemic hit, and the hospital closed down to anything considered non-emergency, while they dealt with lots of cases of the bug. Now they are slowly reopening...

I feel mentally and emotionally (and physically) ready for this surgery now that it's been so long since diagnosis... just need to make an appointment with my family physician and get more tests to see where I stand with these fibroids, and then we can go from there...