Fibroids, Hysterectomy and Intercourse

 This one is for all the husbands and boyfriends out there (I'm directing it specifically at male partners, because I believe female romantic partners will be a lot more understanding due to having the same parts). 

When a woman has had any of the 3 types of hysterectomy - whether it was done vaginally, abdominally, or via laroscope - her interior will need at least 6 weeks to heal, and sometimes up to 8 weeks or more.  In fact, technically, after a hysterectomy, she is not to be having sexual activity at all (even externally) until cleared by a doctor. 

This is because there is a risk of infection, which could turn life threatening and extremely painful for her.  There is also the risk of bleeding, which can become severe and is often caused by popping the "cuff" (the top of the vagina, where the surgical wound is sewn back together).  

Image available at iStockphoto.com 

The doctor needs to examine her surgical wounds and see how they're healing... and in many cases, the go ahead even for clitoral stimulation isn't until about the 6-week point. 

However, many women feel it when they're ready to approach sex again... each one is different and depending on whether her ovaries were removed, will have varying levels of sex hormones. It's really best if you let her initiate the romance with you, and not the other way around.  

*Unfortunately, though this thankfully isn't true of all men, some partners become frustrated and impatient with waiting, which has led to ultimatums - pressuring her into sex before being cleared first, cheating, and the like.  On behalf of women everywhere: Please don't.

Now this is for the ladies (the ones who have had or will have a hysterectomy): 

First of all, listen to your body, and to your doctor. Don't let anyone pressure you, nag you, or threaten you to get sex out of you.  Your body is healing and needs time to repair itself.  If you feel you're at risk of domestic violence, seek out your local hotline or talk to your family doctor about it ASAP!

Chances are, while you still had fibroids or whatever was the reason for your hysterectomy, you were already experiencing pain with intercourse, and possibly even spontaneous bleeding from having sex.  Girl I feel you - for the past couple of years, I've been finding penetration more & more painful, and now it's at the point of spotting right afterward.  Anyway, you will likely find that sex after recovery will be better than it was pre-surgery.  

If full-on penetration (even with a toy) sounds intimidating, that's totally okay.  It's your body and only you really know what you like... so if it's easier, start with external stimulation the first few times, and work your way to other things as time goes by. 

Again, every woman is different and just because your friend who had a hysterectomy says that now her orgasms are through the roof, doesn't mean it's a competition (and, how do you even know she's telling the truth?)  You may find that sex feels a lot better without the impeding fibroids, or maybe it's about the same as it was before... or if you are experiencing sexual difficulties such as lack of arousal/lubrication, painful intercourse, no orgasm or minimal pleasure, or strange discharge, it's wise to talk to your gynecologist to find out what can be done to improve it for you.  After all, you shouldn't have to suffer in silence.